It appears I have formed the habit of doling out wisdom on my birthday every year. While some may be of the view that such is unwarranted, let it be known that I do it solely for my own pleasure. It is true of course that there are those who may benefit from this annual random musings. I truly appreciate them. However, let it never be misconstrued that I write for them. Nay, I write for me. I write to make sense of it all, to laugh at myself, to bring myself back to the straight and narrow road. Once I am treading therein, then the ‘other’ benefits. And since I have no intention of dropping this tradition, here goes.
You may be aware from my previous post that my wife is heavy with a child-a baby girl
I am terrified.
No one prepares you for this. You marry and everyone wishes you well. You go for your honeymoon, come back and settle into marriage. You no longer spend the evenings in a local restaurant sipping tea and watching news with strangers. No, you go straight home after work and reach around the same time with your wife. You cook dinner together and do the things that married folks do e.g. washing dishes, budgeting…and pinching your snoring partner while tugging at the blanket lest you are left in the cold (what were you thinking married folks do?).
It is all very well structured; regular times, movie night, and once in a while giving each other space. Then a third one-forming in the womb-enters the scene. It is almost as if she is an intruder. A friend once described them as guests who never leave and are fully dependent on you. It shocks you-takes a while before it hits you. You then realize life is about to change forever. There is a slight resentment at all this. Then again, there is an excitement that cannot quite be captured fully in words. You are about to become a father. Nothing compares to it.
In relation to fatherhood beckoning, I also realise I have come of age. Go on, take a minute and laugh. It is true.
There are things I did back then, that I would not dare do now, like quitting a job without a plan B. Recall that time I walked away from banking after 37 days? Well, if that was now I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I was young, hungry, with no care in this world and had a distinct distaste for routine. I still do-hate routine I mean. However, now I am forced to live with it. You know, so that I can still pay the bills and all. I take solace in the fact that I can shoot birds in my free time (with a camera of course) but even so, I get weary in my job.
Hence to the young I say this; live your lives. Let no one tell you what you can and cannot do. Stuck in a rut? Quit. Bored with your campus lectures? Take a road trip. Got a windfall? Shop till you drop. Frugal is not a word to be found in the vocabulary of a twenty-something-year old. Want to splash your new vanities all over the internet? Hey! Your funeral!
Live your life. I assure you a few years from today, you will look back and say, ‘boy, those were good times, we sure had fun!’
[Another long pause]
Well, it seems that is all I have to say.
I have my evening well planned out-pick up my wife, go home, freshen up, go for Bible study, come back home, sup, read one chapter of The Idiot, be in bed by 10pm. I intend to enjoy this structure while it lasts.
So long dear reader.