My Annual Dose of Wisdom


It appears I have formed the habit of doling out wisdom on my birthday every year. While some may be of the view that such is unwarranted, let it be known that I do it solely for my own pleasure. It is true of course that there are those who may benefit from this annual random musings. I truly appreciate them. However, let it never be misconstrued that I write for them. Nay, I write for me. I write to make sense of it all, to laugh at myself, to bring myself back to the straight and narrow road. Once I am treading therein, then the ‘other’ benefits.  And since I have no intention of dropping this tradition, here goes.

You may be aware from my previous post that my wife is heavy with a child-a baby girl

[Long Pause]

I am terrified.

No one prepares you for this. You marry and everyone wishes you well. You go for your honeymoon, come back and settle into marriage. You no longer spend the evenings in a local restaurant sipping tea and watching news with strangers. No, you go straight home after work and reach around the same time with your wife. You cook dinner together and do the things that married folks do e.g. washing dishes, budgeting…and pinching your snoring partner while tugging at the blanket lest you are left in the cold (what were you thinking married folks do?).

It is all very well structured; regular times, movie night, and once in a while giving each other space.  Then a third one-forming in the womb-enters the scene. It is almost as if she is an intruder. A friend once described them as guests who never leave and are fully dependent on you. It shocks you-takes a while before it hits you. You then realize life is about to change forever. There is a slight resentment at all this. Then again, there is an excitement that cannot quite be captured fully in words. You are about to become a father. Nothing compares to it.

In relation to fatherhood beckoning, I also realise I have come of age. Go on, take a minute and laugh. It is true.

There are things I did back then, that I would not dare do now, like quitting a job without a plan B. Recall that time I walked away from banking after 37 days? Well, if that was now I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I was young, hungry, with no care in this world and had a distinct distaste for routine. I still do-hate routine I mean. However, now I am forced to live with it. You know, so that I can still pay the bills and all. I take solace in the fact that I can shoot birds in my free time (with a camera of course) but even so, I get weary in my job.

Hence to the young I say this; live your lives. Let no one tell you what you can and cannot do. Stuck in a rut? Quit. Bored with your campus lectures? Take a road trip. Got a windfall? Shop till you drop. Frugal is not a word to be found in the vocabulary of a twenty-something-year old. Want to splash your new vanities all over the internet? Hey! Your funeral!

Live your life. I assure you a few years from today, you will look back and say, ‘boy, those were good times, we sure had fun!’

[Another long pause]

Well, it seems that is all I have to say.

I have my evening well planned out-pick up my wife, go home, freshen up, go for Bible study, come back home, sup, read one chapter of The Idiot, be in bed by 10pm. I intend to enjoy this structure while it lasts.

So long dear reader.


Fatherhood Beckoning


I vividly recall the first time my wife told me she is pregnant. It must have been in the evening. We had just come back from work and she was feeling a little bit off. We bought a pregnancy kit; you know, just to rule out that she is pregnant. Well, she took the test without me and informed me the next day that she is pregnant. I could not believe it. The doubting Thomas in me demanded to see the kit but she had already thrown it away. I just had to take her at her word. I did but the skeptic in me demanded to see proof.

This proof was provided later when we went for an ultra-sound. The sonographer ushered us in. He perceived we were first time parents and took the liberty to manage our expectations; it is too early know the sex of the child, it is crucial that we take measures to ensure viability if the foetus beyond the first trimester, my wife should eat well-no junk food, plenty of water (I avoided mentioning am a nutritionist) plenty of rest and of course, tone down on activities in between the sheets. I took this latter advice very seriously. I was ready to forego my conjugal rights for even a year as long as the baby is fine. However, I get ahead of myself. Let us go back to the ultra-sound.

My Sunshine was gently told to lie down on the high bed just beside the ultra-sound machine. A jelly was smeared on her lower belly and spread side to side with a mouse-like device connected to machine. The sonographer took us step by step as to what he would do next. He was quite reassuring. This was quite helpful especially since my dear had freaked out during an injection for blood works. She was still rattled and the sonographer must have perceived this as well. Anyway, I digress but you can tell I was really impressed by the professionalism exhibited by the guy.

It was still too early for the baby to have clearly distinct features. We did the scan at three weeks. We were able to see the placenta and a few other things that I do not vividly recall. Nonetheless, one thing remained with me-the heartbeat. My eyes moistened at the sight of that little beating heart-150 beats-per-minute it was. I believed.

Now most of you know am a man of words and pictures. I love creating stories through both avenues. Moreover, I have a distinct disinterest in photographing humans. This is because there is no randomness to the art compared to photographing wildlife. However, this one time I was enthralled by the image of the little one. At home, I kept leaving whatever task I was doing just to glance at the scanned images. It brought back that sweet memory when I first heard that heartbeat and it also drifted me into the future. What sort of girl would she grow up to be? Yes, it’s a girl, a fast growing girl.

By our last scan she is already 2.7kgs, and by all indices at 35 weeks even though by gestational age she is about 34 weeks. It is a great feeling this fatherhood. I have seen the joy children bring to their parents. Apart from going home to the arms of the one you love, it is immensely satisfying when there are children chattering about. It reminds you why you toil so hard and gives meaning to the whole 8-5 shenanigan. Furthermore, it is endearing to know that you have been tasked with that great responsibility to bring up a godly generation, one that knows Jesus as their Lord and Saviour and is untainted with the passing pleasures of this world. It is truly endearing and terribly horrifying.

My wife and I could worry ourselves to death over this little one. However, we have grown to be certain that the Lord gives life and protects. We have committed ourselves to raise a girl who knows what she is about; brave, intelligent, loves the great outdoors, loves people and above all fears God. It is a huge task, one which will take the hands of many to make it a success, including you, dear reader.

That’s all for now, watch this space!