The Easter holidays have fast drawn to an end. “A little bit too fast, some may say-those are the fun-lovers. Few, may complain that it was too long-those are the workaholics. It is regarded as the most important time in the Christian calendar. Christianity as a way of life hinges on this historical fact; that Jesus died and rose again. Some have tried to refute this only to end up believing and defending it zealously (Read Frank Morison’s who moved the stone?). Anyway, it is not my intention to delve into the intricacies surrounding His death and resurrection. This has been done by many intellectuals (even though it is my personal view that some phenomena are to be perceived rather than comprehended). Nonetheless, there is one thing that I cannot simply come to terms with. I may once in a while perceive it but only for an endowed holy moment. Such knowledge is far too high and lofty for a mere mortal such as I. Time and time again, I come across individuals who seem to have grasped it. They carry an aura of nobility about them that is simply alluring. Yet sometimes, as they reflect on this quality that astounds many, they as well are baffled. Forgiveness-God’s Forgiveness.
Some things come easy for me, like Generosity. In fact, I have been fairly warned that one day, this might be my undoing. I tend to overdo it, or so am told. However, I have dismally found that I am not so generous in forgiveness. A wrong done unto me tends to linger in my mind and heart. I do not seek revenge but I grow cold. I disappear into this shell and any hints whatsoever that the same wrong might be repeated are dealt with in the most efficient and expedient manner. It is a shame that at such times I forget- or at least want to forget- that I am Christian. You have heard that hell hath no fury like a woman scorned but now I tell you hell hath no fury either like a lover betrayed.
Jilted Lover Stabs Wife to Death
Such are the headlines that grace our dailies quite often than not. Whenever, they do, I tend to go, “there go I…” Why? Because I know firsthand how it feels to be betrayed. I have been down that treacherous path several times before and boy, it is nasty. All manner of feelings conjure up inside you and in a moment of insanity, anything is possible. You then choose to walk away before you do something that might earn you a corner in Guantanamo Bay. And then someone asks you to forgive! Forgiveness my foot! How dare they? Were they there when I gave my precious time, energy and resources? Were they there when we dreamed of life together only to find out this better half has been cosy in another’s arms? Were they… (Breath in, breath out). Okay, maybe that is my old nature talking but you get the drift.
Believe it or not, it is through such betrayals that mine heart warmed up to God. I came to see the frailty of men and the greater frailty in trusting them. Better still, blinds fell off from mine eyes and I saw my true self before Him who sees all. What wretched sight! I turned my back on Him, not once twice but time and time again. If He would have smitten me every time, I would have been beyond oblivion. However, He did the grander thing. He forgave me over and over again. Why? Because I am His beloved and He is mine. Now, it is easier to forgive not because I understand men better but because I have perceived Him. And that, dear reader is what Easter means to me.